Are You Ready to Transform Your Co-parenting?
Step up and take the lead
6 Wheels is transformation by stealth. The power of the 6 Wheels model is that your co-parent does not know that they are now the subject of a social experiment. It's a really positive experimental process to gently, invisibly steer them into collaborative co-parenting.
All you need to bring to the 6 Wheels course is a sense of curiosity and a willingness to try new ideas and get out of your comfort zone.
6 Wheels is a co-parenting coaching model that supports you to develop and consistently enact the co-parenting identity you want. This is about stepping upn and becoming an empowered leader of change.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar
My Mini Bio:
Bach. International Communication, GradDip Educational Psychology, Accredited Mediator with Resolution Institute NZ, Member of New Zealand Association of Positive Psychology, Certified Hypnotherapist
How can behaving like the co-parent I want to be influence change in my co-parenting relationship?
"It will change how you see yourself as a co-parent.
And it will influence change in your co-parent’s behaviour and how they see themselves as your co-parent.
It's like a wheel (or 6) going round and round. Behaviour change creates identity change which creates behaviour change, and so on.
IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU
Start by focusing on what you have control over - your thoughts and behaviours
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Be Strategic
Be Consistent
Be the Leader
6 Wheels is strategically using well-researched evidence-based tactics and interventions to influence your co-parent and your co-parenting relationship.
6 Wheels is about setting in motion consistent ways of behaving, like turning wheels, that will begin to effortlessly characterize your new co-parenting relationship.
6 Wheels is choosing to be an experimental social scientist to lead change in your own life.
It's about being curious and developing your power of influence.
Becoming a leader
"Life is not about expecting, hoping, and wishing. It's about doing, being, and becoming"
Mike Dooley
6 Wheels is about empowering you to step into the leadership space in your co-parenting.
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Transformative leaders bring about positive change by continually exploring new approaches and solutions.
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It's about choosing to be the hero of your own story, being brave and curious, and ready to steer your co-parenting relationship in a new direction.
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In the 6 Wheels Programme you will learn:
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How to get "unstuck" from any unhelpful ways of behaving or interpreting your situation that are holding you back from making progress.
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How to embrace the modern model of power and influence that is all about leveraging the benefits of respect, trust and connection.
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Taming the Wild
"Trust is not built in big sweeping moments. It's built in tiny moments every day"
Brene Brown
6 Wheels is about giving you the tools and support you need to effectively engage with (and possibly tame) your co-parent and build trust and value.
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In the 6 Wheels Programme you will learn:
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How to view or frame conflict as opportunity, and how to leverage this in your best interests.
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How to better understand what lies behind your co-parents behaviours in order to diffuse or move through conflict.
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How to develop skills of calm and consistency in order to build trust, much like leaning over a fence and patiently offering grass to a wild horse.
Wheels of Reciprocity
"Reciprocity is a powerful tool of influence because it is based on the principle of fairness"
Robert Cialdini
Reciprocity is a key element of being influential and taps into the unconscious psychological obligation to respond to a positive action with another positive action.
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In the 6 Wheels Programme you will learn:
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How to leverage reciprocity to create habits of co-parenting behaviour by both parents.
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Specific tactics that, with consistency, will trigger a reciprocal response from your co-parent.
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How to assess your actions by the long-term enduring effects.
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How to create the co-parenting relationship you want through a process of consistent, positive actions aligned with your top tier goal, rather than getting distracted by scattered arguments.
Choosing your story
"It isn't events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgements about them"
Epictetus
It doesn't matter what co-parenting experiences you've had, the choice is fully yours in how you frame your experiences and the stories you tell about your life.
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The 6 Wheels approach is about acknowledging emotions and events, and then widening the perspective.
Just like a hero in a movie confronted with challenge after challenge, setbacks and adversity are inevitable parts of our lives. The only question for the hero of the story is: 'What are you going to do about it?".
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In the 6 Wheels Programme you will learn:
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How to use adversity and setbacks as tools for learning and change
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How to positively reframe events and situations in order to reduce stress, become more resilient, and change the way you see the world
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That revising your evolving story, interpretations and explanations, is under your control
Stoic Philosophy
"Grant me the serentity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
Reinhold Niebuhr
Stoicism is a framework for living well. It's a school of ancient Greek and Roman philosophy that says it's possible to live well in every situation as long as you cultivate a frame of mind that develops capacity to overcome adversity.
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In the 6 Wheels Programme you will learn:
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How to reduce stress by letting go of what you can't control.
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That your thoughts and beliefs create your world, not external events, and this is under your control.
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How to find space between events and emotions.
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How to change your thoughts and beliefs by trying new perspectives.
Auckland Workshop
6 Wheels Co-parenting workshops continue to be held periodically throughout the year at the Auckland Women's Centre.
These workshops are provided to the Centre at no-cost and are a way for me to give back to the Women's Centre who have supported me in the past, and support women in my community.
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This 6-session workshop series is a lively, interactive group experience in which you will learn and apply the tools and tactics you need to influence positive change in your co-parenting relationship.
Auckland Women's Centre Workshop
Saturday 31 August 2024: 10-2pm; followed by 5 x 1hr evening Zoom sessions
Small supportive group environment (6-10 people)
Book directly with Auckland Women's Centre (4 Warnock St, Grey Lynn)
$10 - $55 sliding scale
Online 10 Week 6 Wheels Co-Parenting Programme
"Turn your wounds into wisdom"
Oprah Winfrey
Join me in a personalised 10 week co-parenting programme and take the lead to transform your co-parenting situation.
6 Wheels Co-parenting is a fun, experimental and fresh approach to strategically turn your adversity into a source of advantage.
BENEFITS
Start whenever you like
Weekly 1hr one-to-one online coaching
Individual focus on your unique situation
GOT QUESTIONS? START HERE
Frequently Asked Questions
I'm sure you have questions! In fact, 6 Wheels Co-parenting is designed for people who are curious, so I'd be disappointed if you didn't! Below are some general FAQs. Have a read, and if you're still curious, I'd love to connect by phone or Zoom for a free, no-obligation discovery call.
Why is it called '6 Wheels'?
Great question! Influence depends on trust, and trust is earned through actions. Research shows 6 key categories of actions that build trust - Goodwill, appreciation, autonomy, flexibility, generosity, and fairness.
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'6 Wheels' is a metaphor or image of the six areas in your co-parenting that need to be in perpetual motion, turning freely and automatically, in order to achieve a collaborative relationship.
I'm nervous interacting with my co-parent. Is 6 Wheels right for me?
Yes! 6 Wheels is about empowering you, so that you feel supported, prepared, skilled and strategic going into every interaction. It's helping you feel braver taking the lead, rather than stuck being reactive.
Plus it's about being curious and a bit playful - after all, doesn't secretly influencing your co-parent sound kind of fun?
Why is 6 Wheels Co-parenting run over 10 weeks?
Change happens over time when new behaviours are used consistently and repetitively. 10 weeks gives us the time to create a shift towards automatic, habitual, collaborative behaviour.
My children are teenagers. Is 6 Wheels an appropriate course?
Absolutely - the age of your children is irrelevant. 6 Wheels is not about the nuts and bolts of parenting children together. It's about influencing the relationship you have with your co-parent. If you can improve the relationship, everything else improves.
I've read so many self-help books about co-parenting but can't seem to change anything. How is 6 Wheels different?
6 Wheels is all about the "doing"! 10 weeks of choosing to take the lead as a 'social scientist' and apply proven strategies of influence, then be supported to evaluate and improve your co-parenting leadership.
I'm still not sure if 6 Wheels is right for me...
Book a free 30 min discovery call with me. This is an easy way to simply have a chat, ask questions, and figure out if 6 Wheels is a good fit for you.
Can I do the 6 Wheels programme with my co-parent?
No - 6 Wheels is for one parent only. 6 Wheels Co-parenting is all about experimentally applying tactics of influence to improve your co-parenting relationship. If your co-parent knows what you're doing and why, these tactics simply won't work.
If 6 Wheels is designed to transform conflict to collaboration, can I use the skills I learn for other tricky relationships?
Absolutely. Although this 10 week programme is specific to co-parenting, you will learn skills to apply to any high-conflict relationship, eg with family or colleagues. In essence, it's about developing your leadership abilities in a conflict situation.
How do you provide 1:1 support?
We meet for 10x 1hr weekly Zoom calls at a time that suits you. In this time we review the 6 Wheels actions you tried in the last week, and discuss ways to personalise the next week's actions to your situation.
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During the week you'll also have 3 short video trainings to watch or listen to, with interactive elements to really get you thinking in new ways about your co-parenting.
